Some people like asking the question, ‘if you had to just drink one wine for the rest of your life, what would it be?’, to which most wine geeks come up with something really obscure and nerdy, that likely most of us will never see or try in our lives. We prefer to ask ‘if you were stuck in a zombie apocalypse which winery or cellar would like to be holed-up in?’ – yep, much cooler.

Imagine that the zombies are chowing down on human brains outside the cellar, while you’re sipping on someone’s hard-earned, long-collected vintage cellar, while being completely safe from all the flesh-tearing going on outside. Much better than George A Romero’s suggestion in Dawn Of The Dead of being stuck inside a shopping mall…

With that in mind, here’s a list of the Top Five Cellars to get stuck in during a zombie apocalypse…

  • Campo Viejo – Ok, so the winery produces literally millions of bottles of Spanish wine per year, and some of it is nice, but not what you’d call the finest booze in the world, but we chose Campo Viejo because it looks like the world’s biggest bunker. Better safe than sorry in a zombie apocalypse.

    Yep, the type of stronghold that the whole of Spain’s zombie herds couldn’t chew their way into, resembling a military facility rather than a fancy winery, and built directly into and under the hillside that it sits on. Better yet, there’s so much wine at Campo Viejo, that you could have your whole family, including the in-laws, working away at the stash for an entire generation and you couldn’t get through the amount tucked away in there. With 7000 barrels full of wine at any one time, there’s plenty left over once you’ve got through the bottled stuff too. A good place to dig in while the scientists find a cure.

  • Rockpool Restaurant Group (Australia) – Ok, we’re not quite sure where they keep the mother load, but the Rockpool Restaurant group of restaurants in Australia is quietly sitting on one of the greatest collections of fine wine in the known universe, and it’s likely right under our noses. Sure, some of the stash might be in the USA, and there’s a chance that a lot of wine might also reside in Europe somewhere, but the idea is, that this is one gigantic collection that fuels some of the greatest wine lists in the world, and we can get at them right here in Australia.

    If the zombies were going to start taking a liking to the steaks served up at some of the restaurants, we’d happily get locked into the cellar at any one of their restaurants. Co-owner and curator of the wine lists, the dot-com millionaire David Doyle, has been collecting wine pretty much all his life, and is happy letting some of his prodigious stash go through the Neil Perry-led restaurants. From incredible back-vintage rarities from prestige French wineries, to obscure wines from some of the most nerdy wine regions known to mankind, it’s the whole ‘kid in a candy store’ kind of thing going on, that makes one want to barricade themselves into this cellar. Forever.

  • Moet & Chandon Champagne – Ok, so if the zombies were terrorising France and you happened to be in the region of Champagne, you could do worse than having to spend your eternity in the underground cellars of a Champagne producer. Yes, you’d have to pretty much drink the one thing for the rest of your days on earth, but with 26 million bottles of Champagne produced a year by Moet & Chandon, you’re unlikely to run out before you kicked the bucket from natural causes.

    The Moet cellar is also an excellent place to lay low while brains get munched above ground, because of the extensive network of tunnels that it is made up of. Kilometre after kilometre of tunnels create a grand maze underground, complete with the moody lighting and dark corners that would make for terrifying moments if the odd zombie strayed into the Champagne bunker. That being said, it’s likely a good place to fortify during zombie raids, doubling successfully as a wartime bunker.

  • James Halliday’s House – Ok, so it would be nice if James Halliday was with you during the time you spent hiding out in his cellar, but even if he didn’t manage to get away during the zombie apocalypse, you know that he’d guaranteed have some pretty amazing wines tucked away in his gigantic treasure trove of wine.

    It’s well known that Halliday tastes upwards of 5000 wines a year for his Wine Companion book, but he’s also a lover of the world’s great wines. Combine all those great Australian wines he gets to taste each year, plus all the other wines he just loves drinking, and you’re sitting on a stash that could likely satisfy hundreds of people for a lifetime, let alone if you are the only one in the world who escaped the zombies.

  • The Lodge, Canberra – Did you know that the Prime Minister’s house has a wine cellar? Did you know that it’s usually very well stocked? Not just that, but Prime Minister’s usually have top-notch security and are likely a team of people who could keep zombies at bay. Yes, you’d have to spend the rest of your days drinking wine with a politician, but at least you’d be safe and have a pretty impressive selection of wines to drink on a daily basis. A reasonable trade off.

    Australian wine experts are often asked to lend a hand curating the Prime Minister’s cellar, and of course visiting dignitaries have to be served something if they’re being kept happy while visiting at the number one Australian politician’s home. Therefore, Australian wine is heavy on the menu, but it’s the good stuff, the rare stuff and the stuff that best represents the diversity of Aussie wine regions – not a bad place to be, and the guys outside can take down the zombie swarms while you sip on Grange and deal with all the political chatter.

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